8 Tips to Becoming More Resilient

By Stephanie Peters

Resilience is probably something that all of us have had drilled into us from primary school assemblies, but why is it so important to be resilient? Clinical Psychologist Meg Jay has shared 8 practical ways to bounce back instead of battle!


  1. First, recognize that your struggle is valid, no matter what you’re struggling with. Don’t be ashamed of what makes you stressed. It’s better to learn that what you’re stressed with is probably a common adversity and legitimate.

  2. Then realize the ways you’re already resilient. ‘What were the three toughest times in my life? How did I get through those things?’ You probably already know something about being resilient.” It’s not a trait within you, it’s something you have already encouraged yourself be so you can do it again.

  3. Don’t wait for the situation to fix itself. “Resilient people tend to be active copers. They say, ‘What am I going to do about this?’ versus, ‘When will this leave?’ It may not be solved overnight, but every problem can be approached somehow.”

  4. Know your strengths and use them. “In general, resilient people tend to use the strengths they have. For different people, those are different. Some people have a great personality. For other people, it’s smarts or some sort of talent or a real work ethic. They use that to grab onto, to get through whatever’s in front of them.”

  5. Don’t try to do it alone…“One of the biggest predictors of faring well after an adversity is having people who cared. One thing that resilient people do is they seek support. It doesn’t have to be a therapist; it could be a best friend or family. Resilient people actually use other people — rather than not let themselves need them.”

  6. ...but know that it’s okay not to tell everyone. “Increase the number and quality of your relationships however you see is right. For some people, that will be, ‘There are two people in the world who know all of what there is to know about me.’ For other people, they’ll want to be known by a bigger community. The brain just processes when it has a positive experience with another person so finding people who understand you and care can really matter!

  7. Find your favorite way to take a mental break. Hang out with friends to take a mental break from a situation that you cannot solve overnight. You may not be able to fix that problem, but you can protect yourself from feeling overwhelmed by it.

  8. Be compassionate with yourself and realize all the ways adversity has made you strong. It depends on a lot of things, such as how much support you have and how big the problem is, but by learning to cope with stress and having that experience, you can gain confidence and preparation for the future.